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WHICH STYLE OF BAG ARE YOU? - A QUIZ

by: Nina Meyer


Well hello Ladies,

Gentlemen,

Gentlemen who prefer gentlemen.

Ladies who prefer ladies.

They’s, Them’s, Yous, we’s, us’s

all lovers of fancy things alike...




All are welcome in the warm cozy arms of this old familiar “Style Quiz”.


If you’re over 30 (ahem, I mean, permanently 27) Then you may have spent hours and hours in 1997 circling A, B, C, or D, on the most stereotypical, half-witted, brainless, and ridiculously pointless quizzes which have ever been written. We all did. There is no shame here.


And now perhaps you’re asking yourself, “am I aching to refuel that sparkly tank of question answering?”, “Do I need to know which stereotype disguised as a BAG I am??” “YES. YES. TELL ME WHICH STEREOTYPE DISGUISED AS A BAG I AM”.


Do not be fraught my fellow Clueless lovers. There is a cure to the ail you didn’t even know you had.

Prepare to be satiated.


Just, please, don’t take it too seriously. This quiz is all for a smile and an excuse to gaze lovingly at your phone while you drown out the sounds of the incessant news program the person sitting next to you is watching at full volume.


So sit back, pour some cranberry juice on a lime and pull out your glitter pen to mark down "A" "B" "C" or "D". It’s time to pretend the world hasn’t gone to hell and take "NINA'S STYLE QUIZ - to find out WHICH BAG ARE YOU?"




QUESTION NUMBER ONE:



1. Oh BOTHER, Somebody’s got a case of the MONDAYS. How you gonna deal?




A. Hum an annoyingly happy tune and take on life as, “Instagram influencer, blogger to the stars! Of Pitchfork, Iowa”


B. Hex the universe and all of its inhabitants while dumping boiling hot coffee directly into your veins.


C. Get your head crawled on by a toddler while you feed a baby who’s been up since 3am.


D. Chug that protein drAnk. Get 3 hours of gym before work. FEEL THE CHEAT DAY BURN.






2. Your boss calls freaking out about late reports.

What a L O S E R. You:



A. What Boss? I’m my own boss. Join my FaceBook group!


B. Not your problem, Ask Janet, totes busy signing up for the next season of Love Is Blind.


C. Roll your eyes. Your office would be lost without you. You’re so on the ball it’s AMAZING. And all this after bringing the kids to daycare and prepping dinner in the crock.


D. Reply “Already done! WHAT ELSE YOU NEED! Took some late pre-workout and it's kicking in pretty gnarly". Then start doing one armed pushups in his office to establish dominance.




3. It’s 8 pm on a Saturday Night. Where are you?


A. Twirling your finger around the phone cord talking to CHAD who’s (air quotes) “NOT FROM TINDER


B. With Jenny from da block, getting jiggy in da club. NO PHONES NIGHT, oops, spilled my appletini.


C. Nursing a baby with one hand and a sippy cup of Wine with the other (wink)


D. Getting ripped as always. Hear you roar. Maybe do some Karate as you pass the bars and run home.





4. Your best friend calls and wants to take a weekend holiday to Cancun, you say:



A. Ooooooh, I'm on @kelsieK5c's new salsa detox… it's not going amazing. Soft pass


B. {Somehow magically you already have luggage and a margarita before she finishes asking}


C. AHHH Brittany Jr’s got a soccer game, rain check me?


D. hmmm I do look good in a bikini... What’s the gym situation at the resort?